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Coping with Grief ...
 

There for a reason...

 

Grief can be painful, time consuming and exhausting and people react to it in different ways. Many people try to hide their feelings, but they are an inevitable part of bereavement, so do not be afraid to share them with a sympathetic listener.

If you are having difficulty in coping with your bereavement, please let us know. We have resources (books and DVDs) that may help. Grief and mourning are there for a reason; they are the beginning of the healing road we all need to travel. We are not meant to live with perpetual grief, it will serve it’s purpose and then move gently on, leaving you with the things that matter, the thoughts and memories of the one you love.

Some places of worship hold annual remembrance services and we can keep you informed of these should you wish to attend.

A not so Jolly Christmas 

This year the Christmas bells will have a different ring for you and your family. A significant person in your life has died.

 

At Christmas time you are welcome to place a memoriam tag on our tree of remembrance as a tangible act to remember your loved one.  We have a very useful little booklet called “A not so jolly Christmas” which many people have found helpful when facing their first Christmas alone.

 

The booklet includes practical advice on reducing pressure, re-evaluating traditions, redefining expectations and reliving memories. There is a special section for helping children with their loss at Christmas.

 

If you would like to receive a copy please feel free to call in to Rosedale, or alternatively contact us with your request and we'll post you a copy.

Practical suggestions to help you support someone who is bereaved...

If you are supporting someone who has recently lost a loved we have produced a short PDF document which can be downloaded by clicking the download icon to the right.

Counselling - who can counselling help?

Counselling can help both men and women in a wide variety of difficult life situations:

 

- Feelings of emptiness, hopelessness or not being able to cope

- Depressed, anxious or confused

- Difficulties with marriages of family relationships

- Times of illness or bereavement

- Times of crisis

- Times of stress

- Experiencing feelings of memories which concern us

 

These are only examples of situations that can and have been helped through counselling.

 

4C's Counselling Centre operate in Wymondham, Norwich, Dereham and Lowestoft and provides a free counselling service, although they ask for a small donation (around £15) towards the cost of counselling if possible. See below for contact details.

 

Dianna Smith offers a one to one grief counselling services in Diss, Harleston, Bungay and the surrounding areas, and can visit you in your own home if desired. Dianna can be contacted on 01379 853825

Involving the children

Sadly, there will always be bereaved children.   Statistics suggest that each year approximately 280 children in Norfolk are likely to experience the death of someone very close to them, through illness, accident, suicide and occasionally though murder.

Children are often referred to as the ‘forgotten mourners’ because adults use euphemisms to explain death and think children are adaptable and will soon get over it, or ‘are too young to understand’ or ‘too young to go to the funeral.’ 

As parents ourselves, we believe that it is important that a child is told as quickly and honestly as possible when there is a death in the family. Encourage the child to talk about the person that has died and to ask questions. A child’s imagination is often far worse than reality. Younger children may like to draw pictures to be placed in the coffin, while older children may like to write their own floral tribute cards or take part in the service, perhaps by reading a poem.

Rosedale Funeral Home is a subscriber to the Childhood Bereavement Network, a national, multi-professional organisation working with bereaved children and young people. Subscribers to The Childhood Bereavement Network believe that all children have a right to information, guidance and support to enable them to manage the impact of death on their lives

We have available a range of resources to help children come to terms with their loss including workbooks, memory boxes, story and audio books. We have provided many Norfolk and Suffolk schools with resources to support bereaved children, and can assist with lesson plans to support Key Stages 1-4.

We can suggest books that are appropriate for each age group, and also books for adults to help them understand how children feel when someone important in their life dies. Further to this we have a children's 'Story Bag' on permanent loan from the Norfolk Library Service containing "Badger's Parting Gifts" and accompanying glove puppets.

“At times children’s thoughts lie even too deep for tears.  We cannot – and should not – take away their grief.   But by helping them to engage with it, to express it and share it – we can help them to live in it, through it and beyond it.”

Cruse

Cruse Bereavement Care exists to promote the well-being of bereaved people and to enable anyone bereaved by death to understand their grief and cope with their loss. The organisation provides counselling and support. It offers information, advice, education and training services.

Samaritans

Samaritans provides confidential non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide.

SANDS (Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Society)

Supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby and promoting research to reduce the loss of babies' lives.

4C's Counselling Centre
01953 600224

4C's Counselling Centre operate in Wymondham, Norwich, Dereham and Lowestoft and provides a free counselling service, although they ask for a small donation (around £15) towards the cost of counselling if possible.

Diana Smith
01379 853825

Dianna Smith offers a one to one grief counselling services in Diss, Harleston, Bungay and the surrounding areas, and can visit you in your own home if desired.

Winston's Wish

Help for grieving children and their families, Winston’s Wish helps bereaved children and young people rebuild their lives after a family death.

 

If you do have children in the family there are some helpsheets available from Winston's Wish, with great ideas to remember loved ones on special days such as Mother's or Father's day and Christmas.

Nelson's Journey

Nelson's Journey was established to provide a service to children and young people who have experienced the death of a significant person in their life e.g. mother, father, sibling etc. Nelsons Journey offers a range of services including an advice and information service to bereaved families, a comprehensive assessment of the needs of bereaved children and activity days and therapeutic residential weekend camps.

Child Bereavement Trust

Support for bereaved children and families

A poem... 'What is dying?'   

I am standing on the seashore. A ship sails and spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her till at last she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, “She is gone.”

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all; she is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her, and just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.

The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her; and just at the moment when someone at my side says “She is gone,” there are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout, “Here she comes,” and that is dying.

 
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