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...to enable families and friends to understand, share and mourn their loss; to give thanks for and to celebrate a life; to confirm the reality of the loss and say goodbye to the physical elements of the person who has died; and for the mourners to take comfort from each other and aid their grieving process. We are all different, and so every funeral should be different, weaving together the elements of the life and character of the deceased.
At the time of meeting with your funeral director you will have many of the choices explained to you, and will have the opportunity to discuss options for the funeral service venue, the choice of coffin, floral tributes, catering and orders of service. However, there are so many decisions to make that choices can sometimes become overwhelming. What we aim to do through this web page is to make you aware of some of the lesser known options that many people would not think to ask about.
You can hold a funeral anywhere that will allow it - a function room, village hall or community centre, by the graveside or even at home. There is no obligation to have a set religious or humanist ceremony - family and friends can organise the ceremony themselves, or there are independent funeral celebrants who can help. A personalised eulogy can transform a service and make it really special and memorable, and we have  put together some advice and suggestions that you may wish to consider. Download the PDF here. It may be possible to arrange a double slot at the crematorium so that the ceremony doesn't feel rushed.
 We have available a very special book entitled "When we remember". This book provides an honest and sensitive guide to planning a funeral and offers many gentle suggestions of poetry, readings and music. Most of all, this little book relieves much of the burden of the formalities, and allows you to focus on those you love, and your recent loss, and bring a sense of closure and meaning to the process. If you would like to receive a complimentary copy together with the accompanying CD please let us know.
Funeral vehicles
 We run a fleet of modem Mercedes Benz black hearses and limousines. However there are specialist vehicles available, such as a Cadillac hearse, Austin Princess hearse or a Rolls Royce Phantom or Silver Cloud.
There are many alternatives to a traditional hearse for transporting the coffin to the funeral. These include horse drawn carriages, tractor and trailer, Land Rover Defender hearse, motorbike hearse, vintage lorries, or a hearse in a different colour - silver, white or bubblegum pink. You could use your own vehicle if you wanted to, or for very local funeral services, you could walk alongside an old fashioned wheeled-bier. Through our links with the Eastern Transport Collection, we have access to a collection of old buses, including a 1950's Double Decker that we sponsor and these would be suitable for transporting large groups of mourners.
This Dotteridge horsedrawn hearse can be pulled by 2, 4 or 6 black or white horses.
Music
 Since the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, people are more aware of how music can be used to personalise a funeral service. Popular or contemporary music can be used alongside the more traditional hymns and classical music. Live music can add a valuable contribution and we can arrange jazz bands, harpists, pipers, or a trumpet soloist to play the last post at the graveside.
Part of a new trend that seems to be quietly transforming all types of funeral and making the service more personal and memorable, is the restoration of audio recordings. You might. think reel to reel tapes are a very old technology, but before that came paper and even wire tape recordings. In the years of austerity during World War Two and afterwards it was common practice to cut a brief song or voice message in mobile recording booths. At recent funerals there has been a horn concerto that had to be salvaged from a much abused cassette tape, a vinyl record completely cracked across and a compilation of classical guitar by a music teacher. As he finished playing, his voice could be heard quietly saying, "Well, that's it then." Each one of these added a uniquely personal tribute to the funeral service and beyond that a restored copy of these moments will last for many years. For more information go to www.preciousvoices.co.uk
Flowers
 Obviously we can advise of the choices for traditional floral tributes or charitable donations in lieu of flowers. However, may people do not reallse that they can incorporate flowers from the deceased's garden, or arrange the flowers themselves. Flowers can also be woven into willow or bamboo coffins to personalise them. We also offer a service where floral tributes can be preserved and framed. For more information visit www.floralpreservations.co.uk. You may like to consider giving everyone a single flower or sprig of heather and have a few moments when these can be placed on the coffin or in the grave. This can connect everyone present at the ceremony and create a sense of intimacy.
Ashes
In the same way that bereaved families are looking at ways of making sure the funeral is a fitting tribute to the deceased and relevant to those attending the service, there are also imaginative things to consider doing with the ashes.
Download a summary of Channel 4's recent Ashes to Diamonds documentary.
Refreshments
The funeral gathering can take place in a variety of venues, such as a family home, village hall or local hotel or pub, and can range from serving tea, coffee and cake, to a hot or cold funeral buffet. We can recommend caterers in your area, or can advise on where you can hire in crockery and glassware if you are planning to prepare the food yourselves.
Sometimes, when a funeral service is held locally, with the cremation taking place some distance away, families have benefited from serving the refreshments immediately following the service, with only very close family accompanying the coffin to the crematorium later in day.
The gathering for refreshments can also be a time to display photographs or a slide show depicting the life of the deceased and to continue playing favourite music. There was an example of a time when a member of the family called for quiet and invited those present to say a few words about the deceased, how they knew him, what they would remember him for and why he was special. About half a dozen people responded, taking around 15 minutes in all and several people said it was the best wake they had ever been to.
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