Dealing with grief and loss
Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be painful, time consuming and exhausting and people react to it in different ways. Shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, regret, numbness and loneliness are some emotions that most people feel.
Unfortunately, there is no magic wand to take away the pain. Grief is something you have to work through. There is no set time to say when you will feel better. Sometimes you might find that you take two steps forwards and then three steps backwards.
Many people try to hide their feelings, but they are an inevitable part of bereavement, so do not be afraid of crying or showing emotion. Tears relieve emotional stress and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Many people have times when they feel angry. It can often help to share your feelings with a sympathetic listener, indeed much healing can come from talking.
Many people choose to withdraw from social contact, feeling unable to face the outside world. You may feel like this, but grieving is difficult enough without having to do it all on your own. Allow yourself time to grieve and adjust to your new situation. Always take time before making any major decisions such as moving house.
Grief and mourning are there for a reason; they are the beginning of the healing road we all need to travel. We are not meant to live with perpetual grief; it will serve its purpose and then move gently on, leaving you with the things that matter, the thoughts and memories of the one you love.
Coping after a funeral
When somone has died, friends and family want to help. The funeral takes place and the weeks pass. People slowly stop visiting and calling and life for them goes back to normal. But you’re still in the same painful boat; in fact, it can seem worse as there are far fewer distractions. Your life will never be the same again and you face the task of finding a ‘new normal’.
You many find a memory box helpful. The Rosedale Memory Box closes with a magnetic seal and is the perfect place to keep treasured memories and mementos. It can hold photos, letters and books along with many more items. You may find a copy of one of our inserts helpful when starting to fill your box.
Here are some tips to help you cope when life goes back to ‘normal’ – but not for you.
Our usual Bereavement Support Groups have been postponed, but please click here for information about what resources we have in its place including GriefChat which provides emotional support for bereaved people, access to trained bereavement counsellors and referral into other specialist bereavement services. GriefChat is a completely free service and is available Monday-Friday, 9 am-9 pm or by email out of these hours.