Grief & Healing

Girl on bench

Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be painful, time consuming and exhausting and people react to it in different ways.  Shock, anger, disbelief, guilt, regret, numbness and loneliness are some emotions that most people feel.

Unfortunately, there is no magic wand to take away the pain. Grief is something you have to work through. There is no set time to say when you will feel better. Sometimes you might find that you take two steps forwards and then three steps backwards.

Many people try to hide their feelings, but they are an inevitable part of bereavement, so do not be afraid of crying or showing emotion. Tears relieve emotional stress and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Many people have times when they feel angry. It can often help to share your feelings with a sympathetic listener, indeed much healing can come from talking.

Many people choose to withdraw from social contact, feeling unable to face the outside world. You may feel like this, but grieving is difficult enough without having to do it all on your own. Allow yourself time to grieve and adjust to your new situation. Always take time before making any major decisions such as moving house.

Grief and mourning are there for a reason; they are the beginning of the healing road we all need to travel. We are not meant to live with perpetual grief; it will serve its purpose and then move gently on, leaving you with the things that matter, the thoughts and memories of the one you love.

“No one can tell you what to expect or can offer a guide to grief. Because every relationship is so unique, no two people grieve the same way. And you have no idea how you are going to grieve till you are grieving.” Alysia Reiner

“Each person’s grief has its own fingerprint. Every journey of sorrow has a unique map. Hearts will heal on their own timetable. Never presume to know how others should deal with their pain.”

Coping after a funeral 

Then weeks pass, everything has been done, and people slowly stop visiting and calling. But you’re still in the same painful boat; in fact, it can seem worse as there are far fewer distractions.

Here are some tips to help you cope when life goes back to ‘normal’ – but not for you.