Rosedale Introduces is a series of blogs which showcase the brilliant work local organisations and charities do to support those who are grieving.
Today it is the turn of Fiona Gosden, CEO of TimeNorfolk.
The grief of a pregnancy loss at any stage is complicated and everyone’s grief journey is unique. Some parents want to share their story and others grieve silently. Parents can grieve when a pregnancy ends at any stage or after birth. Bereaved parents sometimes like to capture memories of their little one. This could be remembering the pregnancy, cuddling a memory bear or keeping hand or foot prints safe.
A bereaved mother shares:
“our arms will always ache for what should be, for the missed months and stolen years. The longing to hold our baby will never leave; it leaves a painful ache that can not be filled ore replaced…our precious baby girl is part of our story. Her story is a love story worth telling”.
Anniversaries can be a challenge for bereaved parents. A woman shares how on the first year anniversary of her daughter’s death she is ‘surviving hour by hour’. Other parents plan a welcoming distraction or celebration – a birthday party that would have been. There is no right or wrong way to choose how to spend an anniversary.
Pregnancy loss is gradually becoming less taboo, but the grief hurts the same. With support and compassion, there is hope.
Do you know someone who said goodbye to a little one gone too soon, or did they feel they did not say goodbye? How can you support them on an anniversary? Perhaps they want to be left alone and not think about their little one, maybe they want to be in company but not think about their little one, or maybe they want to honour their little one with company. Any of these choices are valid and asking a bereaved parent is often very welcome. Asking if someone would like to talk and then creating stillness to listen can help to make room for emotion and reflection.
For more information on the bereavement support that we can offer please click here.